Becoming Lin by Tricia Dower

Author:Tricia Dower
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781987915280
Publisher: Caitlin Press
Published: 2016-11-08T05:00:00+00:00

20

Tues, Nov 21/67

A ball of cells no longer than a minute has taken parasitic root in me. Virginia Woolf is screaming from her grave: You weren’t supposed to breed! R is puffed up w/blessing-from-God talk, following me around w/a pillow. God had nothing to do w/it. I missed a pill.

I know the moment the zygote burrowed into my uterus, despite R declaring it a romantic bit of retrospective prognostication. Oct 22. We were watching TV, gripped by images of protesters clubbed w/rifle butts, desperately hoping Carl wasn’t one of them. I had belly cramps, chalked it up to an imminent period. Never thought of implantation. Invasion. We saw blood splash onto steps, heard “Link arms, link arms” & screams of pain. Carl said he’d be carrying a Do Not Ask For Whom The Bell Tolls sign but we didn’t spot it. Tens of thousands were there. Helen phoned next day to say she’d heard from him. He’d been tear-gassed & dragged by his feet, but it was worth it to be w/Hoffman, Rubin & Ginsberg. He said it was the 2nd best day of his life, the 1st being his wedding. Woolf said a woman’s life is small compared to a man’s if she’s cut off from the world. Could’ve had the 2nd best day of my life if I hadn’t cut myself off w/fearful excuses. R would’ve thrown a fit if I’d insisted on going w/out him. VW again: So what if he’d thrown a fit? My heart drums as if I’ve had 10 cups of coffee. The doctor says that’s normal.

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